“The older I grow, the more do I love spring and spring flowers. Is it not so with you?” -Emily Dickenson
May is here and with it is that wonderful sense of the natural world unfurling itself into the light. The truth is that May brings an almost irrepressible urge to grow, and the growing light, which is so noticeable this time of year, whatever the weather is just as important as the temperatures.
In May, the beauty of the garden begins to blossom with a thrilling sense of hope and expansion like a slow and beautiful explosion of life, light and color.
What a joy it has been to be back almost full-time in the Garden these past few weeks. Digging and planting and mulching and weeding and mowing and... you know the drill. Work? Yes. Fun? Oh, my goodness yes! My old knees and hips are paying the prices but I'm still able and I'm not quitting yet!
The garden is in pretty good shape for the beginning of May. The peppers were planted this week so we should be seeing a nice flush coming soon. The wonder of this week was the blooming of my Oriental Poppy! Oriental Poppies (Papaver Orientale) are herbaceous perennial flowers (dies back to the ground then remerges) with large, brightly colored papery petals. The foliage is furry, and thistle-like which adds a lovely textural element. We fell in love with these plants after seeing them at @mobogarden on a visit last year. This is our second year but our first bloom. Such a lovely addition to the Parterre Garden and a good diversion from the onslaught of bad news.
Oriental Poppy | The Carondelet Garden
There is so much upset and anger around right now. I am striving to discover what spiritual sanity means to me right now. Whatever changes around us should not change our best intentions and must not corrupt our best selves. We are not expected to leave society but to live it in a new way that can survive and thrive.
I am seeking the simple wholeness of my true self. The self that dwells deep within in me already and sometimes overlooked until the well runs almost completely dry. I'm working on that self that works under pressure. That is what my heart is looking for right now. There is so much going on and so many anxieties and worries but there is always the call of the garden to come away, rest a bit, enjoy a cup of tea and let your worries rest a while.
Now is the time of faith, a time for hope, and the ever-growing need to share a bit of love. Share some love with yourself, your neighbor, the person checking your groceries at the supermarket, even that grumbly guy who never seems to smile.
Gardening is a form of prayer in many ways. From the very beginning of time God invited us to be a collaborator with him in taking care of the gardens of our world. We are charged by the creator with this creative act. Grow and bring forth beauty and bounty. Prayer, faith, hope and love poured into the ground and then, through grace, we reap what we sow.
We are charged to be creative. How empowering is that? Be creative in your kindness as you continue your journey on the Wednesday in Paschaltide. Pour out a bit of faith, hope and love! There's a Buddha in my Garden. He rests, smiling over my herb garden. I've had him for a very long time. We bought him after taking a course in World Religions. His smile and contentment bring a bit of peace and serenity to the Garden. A gentle reminder to slow down.
Resting Buddha | The Carondelet Garden
This year I began thinking about simplicity and wanting to return to a simple, ordinary life this year. Especially after the roller coaster of the past few years. I'm still thinking about simplicity and what that means to an old gardener like me. For me, a simple, ordinary life is about balance. It's about finding the things that are important to me. I'm no Marie Kondo and I am not cleaning things out to the degree that I have only ten pieces of clothing or something like that. My goal is to simply be the best version of myself, one that I like right now, in this moment. I'm just trying to be a simple, ordinary old gardener in South Saint Louis enjoying the life my God has given to me in the best way I know how. Simple. Ordinary. Life.
The only thing I must add is gratitude. How do I say thanks for all the things I have been given? I am the most fortunate of people. The writer Annie Lamott once said that there are only three kinds of prayers: Help! Thanks! and Wow! The older I get, the more I agree with here. Today, my prayer is Thanks!
I've been able to take a moment to stop and reflect. A moment to be still. Wait. Listen to that wee small voice. I've had people tell me throughout my life that God literally speaks to them. They hear his voice. Audible and real. That has never been my experience. I feel and notice things that I believe are from God. I pray and meditate and read and study but I have never heard the voice of God.
This is where the words of Thomas Merton resound in my heart: “My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore, will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. (“The Merton Prayer | Reflections - Yale University”) I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”
God never leaves me to face my perils along. No matter how terrible or persistent the storms may be. With that knowledge and assurance, I guess I can be a bit braver as I travel this journey. I will not fear, for you are ever with me.
Hard to believe but the tulips are gone, the daffodils are finished already. It is only mid-May and so many things are already finished for the season. Time is flying by so quickly right now. Keeping up with the weeding has become almost a full-time job!
The old saying is that one person's weed is another person's wildflower and, as any wise gardener will tell you, the true definition of a weed is "any plant growing where it is not wanted." My weeding is simply to keep the plants I want to live protected from encroachment by the plants I do not. Emerson said, “What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered.” Thank you @littlegardeninthebigwoods for sharing that quote a while ago.
The Christian mystic Henri Nouwen once wrote: "What finally matters is that hearts become like quiet monastic spaces where God can dwell, wherever we go and whatever we do." As I was pushing the water around and into the drain. It was a kind of prayer. God was there in my frustration and, finally, in my satisfaction that the job was finished. The work was prayer. I need to remember that. This simple, ordinary life in my small, little bungalow and garden in South Saint Louis is my quiet monastic space where God can dwell. I need to remember!
It is full-blown gardening in the Carondelet Garden right now. We have visited more Garden Shops than ever before and I'm pretty worn out right now, but the garden is looking quite good. This early Spring has provided a lovely bunch of blooms already with the promise of many more to come.
Where flowers bloom so does hope. It doesn't take me long to find hope when I am outside walking around in the garden. Even on days when it feels like hope and kindness are nothing more than a pipe dream. Flowers bring me hope. I read a beautiful quote the other day, "Plant that first seed of kindness within, tend to it, feed, give it good, strong roots, and it will grow into a garden that can spread far beyond the boundaries of your own life." Plant the seeds of kindness within. What a great harvest that would be!
"Come... and I will give you rest." -Matthew 11:28
"Coorie in." The Scots say. Come in! Be safe. Be warm. Be welcome. Come in from the storm and be safe and dry. Come and be cozy and well. Coorie in. I love the sound and the goodness of that phrase. Come in and be safe. So often we don't realize the heavy burdens we are carrying until we arrive at a safe harbor, a quiet place of unburdening.
Jimmy Buffett wrote a song about this called "One Particular Harbor." It says, "There's this one particular harbor. So far and yet so near. I see the days as they fade away and finally disappear. A most mysterious calming harbor, sheltered from the wind. Where the children play on the shore each day and all are safe within." I can't listen to this song without hearing, "Coorie in” Be safe and dry from the storm. Be cozy and well. Unburden yourself.
My prayer today is to be a more welcoming presence in this broken world. To offer a welcoming place to coorie in. Coorie in to a kind and gentle welcome that will be truly irresistible. "Come... and I will give you rest."
This old gardener can always think of a good reason to head outside and wander about the Carondelet Garden. It's a fact of life that I can start a ten-minute project and still be at it two hours later. Just another day in the life of a gardener.
The Irises blossomed seemingly overnight and look so lovely against the staircase in the flower garden. I love the extravagance of Iris blooms. So many varieties that thrill and excite the senses. It seems that once gardening puts its little tendrils into my fragrant, leafy soul there is comfort and beauty everywhere I look. What a wonderful time of my life to have the time to enjoy this simple, ordinary life.
Bearded Iris | The Carondelet Garden
I think the amazing artist Camille Pissarro sums it up, "Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where others see nothing." Gardeners have that gift to see the beauty where others see nothing. My prayer is to take the time to always see the beauty of the Creator's gifts in all forms. God is present in the tiniest bud and the most extravagant Iris display. God loves us, just the way we are, right now.
What better way to contemplate than weeding a garden?
As I kneeled in prayer and work, I was struck that I was created with this desire for and a bit of knowledge of the sacred. Yet, my knowledge and comprehension are incomplete. The garden and nature challenge me to see beyond what is right in front of me calling me higher up and deeper into the very nature of God. It is true of most creative or artistic endeavors as well. How often does a song or piece of music touch our hearts or even bring a tear to our eye? I know it does it to me all the time. As I've gotten older it seems my tear ducts are much closer to the surface than they have ever been.
God is here, now in our work and our play. God in all things. Sometimes it's hard for me to wrap my head around it but in my heart, I believe it to be true. God in all things. I know I feel the presence when I take the time to contemplate the weeds. I guess the good news is that the job of weeding never ends so there will be a multitude of opportunities. God in all things. I am connected to that which is truly transcendent: the Creator of all that is good and beautiful.
Gardening is not just a hobby but a passion here in the Carondelet Garden. It's a total mess of excitement and mania combined with urgency and deep desire. We gardeners are an odd mix of botanists, evangelists, theologians, midwives and sometimes saboteurs. We kill, we bleed, we birth, we pray. It's all part of the process and the goal is always the same: the perfect harvest. It all becomes worthwhile when that first Roma tomato comes into full ripeness, and I pluck and eat it standing right there. I may even rinse it off this year.
When I'm gardening, it is my time of meditation and prayer. A time of paying attention and taking notice of what God has to say in God's way. I'm learning that I don't get to decide how God will speak to me. I get what I get, and I need to pay attention, or I will miss it. I'm trying to be more mindful and open and to lean into the beauty that surrounds me. I'm trying to submit to the transforming power of a creative God with the hope and faith that my transformation can, in turn, help transform this broken creation.
We will be trimming and pruning the Lilac bush on this sunny day. As the vineyard master prunes the vines to produce more fruit, we will be pruning our lovely Lilac to produce more fragrant blossoms next Spring. Bear more fruit. Bear mor blossoms. As the Gospel of John says, "I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him. I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another."
Lilac | The Carondelet Garden
Love is sometimes difficult. Sometimes practical. Sometimes painful. Sometimes sacrificial. The older I get the more I realize that I need God's help to love. I am often challenged to show love as I can be an old curmudgeon sometimes. Sometimes I simply don't feel like it. Grumpy old man! I know that I need to simply ask for help to love others and love myself. Love is sometimes difficult. Who do I need to learn to love today?
It is my daily ritual to read, pray and meditate in the early morning. It sustains my life but often it doesn't really feel like life is changing. Yet, somehow, simply and quietly, God finds me. I am loved just the way I am in that moment. A broken old man in a broken old world seeking faith, hope and love which always begins with forgiveness and reconnection. Every day I begin again. Every day I stumble and fail a bit, but somehow, I am still loved. Remarkable!
As I've gotten older, I realize that each day is repetitive. Again and again, I must be forgiven. Again and again, I must believe. Again and again, I must pray and meditate and read. Again, and again and again.
It has been my guiding mantra this year to enjoy a simple, ordinary life. I have come to believe that our lives are formed by our simple daily chores and activity. The ordinariness of our daily routine. We live in this busy culture where we are all judged by our "busy-ness." The world is craving bigger, better, faster, more entertaining, dramatic and shocking. As I've gotten older, I crave the other end of the spectrum. I am cultivating a life with the simplicity needed to sustain a bit of faith, hope and love.
